Early September, and us parents pack our kids off to school with a sigh of relief that normality is returning. But we’ve barely drawn our breath when It starts. Glittery cards begin appearing on the shelves. Tubs of Celebrations and Heroes are stacked near the supermarket entrance.
Forget winter – Christmas is coming, and every store wants you to know about it.
By the end of September, skeletons dance alongside angels. Cadbury’s has Creme Eggs with a green centre because green is creepy and it’s Halloween. And as soon as the fake cobwebs are down, the fake snow comes in. Not to mention the fireworks which are available mid-November right to New Year. Got to bring it in with a bang.
“Happy New Boxing Egg!” my Dad says when he answers the phone during December and January, to cover all bases. It used to be funny. It’s not any more.
Because January comes and how long does your relief at the new year last? You can’t kick back and relax when the Christmas cards are replaced by Valentine’s and they don’t even bother knocking the price of chocolate down after that any more cos Easter is just around the corner.
The demand we celebrate – ie spend our money – is constant. Pancake Day. Chinese New Year. Mother’s Day. St Patrick’s. Half the time we’ve hardly any idea of what it is that we’re celebrating. We only know that we should be doing so. I’m all for multiculturalism but do I really need to buy sweet and sour chicken when there’s not an iota of Chinese in my DNA?
Can we please stop the mad dash from one celebratory day to the next as if partying like it’s 1999 is all that counts? What the heck happened to enjoying every day life? Sure things are tough and at this time of year the weather is crap and there’s an idiot with access to the nuclear button, but honestly? I need to sodding well breathe.